Unpacking the Hetero Backpack

Our culture implicitly reinforces the value of heterosexuality in many ways. Mass media, educational and religious institutions, and legislative bodies endorse and support heterosexuality, frequently in ways that simultaneously condemn other forms of sexuality.

Even very young children internalize the message that "parents" refers to a mother and father and that alternative family structures are somehow different or deviant. The repeated message that heterosexuality is legitimate, safe, and desirable suggests, sometimes subtly and sometimes directly, that not to be heterosexual is to be illegitimate, dangerous, and undesirable.

The benefits that accrue to members of a dominant group have been described by Peggy McIntosh of Wellesley College as "unearned privilege", a concept that is very useful in raising the self-awareness of members of dominant groups:

I have come to see... privilege is an invisible package of unearned assets that I can count on cashing in each day, but about which I was "meant" to remain oblivious... Privilege is like an invisible weightless knapsack of special provisions, assurances, tools, maps, guides, codebooks, passports, visas, clothes, compass, emergency gear, and blank checks (from "White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack").

While McIntosh was focusing on the skin-color privileges that accompany whiteness, the same sorts of privileges apply to heterosexual people living in a heterosexist society. What follows is a list of privileges, modeled on McIntosh's list, that benefit heterosexuals while going largely unacknowledged by them. The implicit challenge to heterosexual people is first to recognize and then to seek ways to undo some portion of the unearned privilege that accrues to them simply by being members of a dominant group.

Unpacking the Heterosexual Backpack

  1. Most people's religious beliefs accept and encourage my sexual orientation.
  2. If jokes are being told in the workplace, they are generally not about my sexual orientation.
  3. People are not uncomfortable sharing a locker room with me.
  4. My peers do not get defensive and uncomfortable when I talk about my partner.
  5. I can hold hands with my significant other in public without fear.
  6. No one questions my right to raise my children.
  7. I am not likely to be denied housing because of my sexual orientation.
  8. I can see my lifestyle reflected everywhere in my work and academic curriculum.
  9. Popular music and love songs are about me.
  10. I can get married anywhere in the world.
  11. The majority of health care providers are prepared to answer my questions about sexuality.
  12. My sexual orientation is never considered to be the single most important characteristic that defines who I am.
  13. My significant other and I can be who we are in public places without worrying about the possibility of being harassed or beaten.
  14. I can serve in the military and be completely honest about who I am.
  15. Other people do not judge my personal relationships to be inherently immoral.
  16. I do not have to correct people who make assumptions about my sexuality.
  17. No one ever says "that's so straight."
  18. I don't have to worry about getting fired if my boss discovers who my significant other is.
  19. My everyday language always includes my sexual orientation.
  20. I do not need a will to leave my estate to my partner.
  21. The overwhelming majority of television shows and movies portray and endorse my lifestyle.
  22. My partner who is not a U.S. citizen can get a green card.
  23. Forms and paperwork make it easy for me to indicate who my spouse is.
  24. I can find many role models and mentors at my work and school who share my sexual orientation.
  25. My sexual orientation is not defined as "abnormal."
  26. Advertising is geared toward someone with my lifestyle.
  27. My children do not have to explain who their parents are and why.
  28. If my partner is in intensive care, I know my presence there won't be challenged.
  29. I have the privilege of not having to be aware of my heterosexual privilege.

On the other hand, by becoming aware of their heterosexual privilege, straight people can acknowledge and support their queer classmates and co-workers in an authentic way. Finding ways to set aside unearned privilege is an act of solidarity and helps to break down the unearned privilege that maintains a status quo that is uncomfortable, unwelcoming, and often dangerous for queer people.

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